Monday, May 18, 2015

ISIS to Get a Laser Cannon????

WHAT?  OK, I have been all for the non-aggression principle and all, but now my principle has met its match.  I give up – nuke ‘em all.

Scientists are considering plans to mount a laser cannon on the International Space Station (ISS) for shooting down debris trapped in orbit.

Something isn’t right; I thought ISIS stood for the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria.  Oh well, whatever they call themselves, they shouldn’t get a laser cannon.  Call out the Marines!

Some researchers are suggesting that the ISS be equipped with a laser powerful enough to shoot down space debris by disrupting the orbits of the pieces and sending them to burn up in the atmosphere.

Sure, those ISIS researchers might pretend that this laser cannon is for space debris, but I know that they are going to use it to bring Sharia law to Kansas.

Researchers estimate that a large-scale, debris blasting satellite could shoot down 100,000 pieces of space junk every year.

Don’t be fooled, Mr. President.  They are going to turn this laser cannon on Bible-thumping Americans before going to meet their forty virgins – already being in low-earth orbit, they will get there that much faster.

I say water-board the scientists working on this weapon from the devil.  Teach ‘em all about American values.

(OK, seriously.  Do you think if such a weapon was invented by NASA scientists that its only use would be to vaporize space debris?)


  1. Ho, ho, Big Muchacho, obviously this is a promo for the sequel to the 1987 movie, "Spaceballs". Below is some of the film's first billed cast, to be released as soon as the script meets the approval of the American Institute of Political Avid Correctness, aka: AIPAC.

    Cast Character

    Benjamin Netanyahu President Skroob
    John McCain Yogurt
    John Bolton Barf
    Arseniy Yatsenyuk Dark Helmet
    Rand Paul Lone Starr
    Victoria Nuland Princess Vespa
    Lindsey Graham King Roland
    Tom Cotton Colonel Sandurz
    Barack Obama Radar Technician
    Hillary Clinton Voice of Dot Matrix
    Abe Foxman Zionater (new character)

    The main plot centers around how the evil Spaceballs will implement the dark forces of the OOZ (Order Of Z) led by the Zionater, shvantz master and baiter who schemes to control all commerce throughout the galaxy.

  2. BM,

    I am very confident that they would only use it on space debris. (The definition of space debris being very elastic.)
    Working Chinese satellite = space debris
    Working Russian satellite = space debris
    Think of it as POTUS defining who is an enemy combatant. I'm sure POTUS is completely competent at determining and defining space debris and politics would never be a factor!

  3. Who knows what is really going on. Quite probably, there are immeasurable numbers of weapons in the hands of our Secret Space Program operators already and on various planets and moons.

    Fascinating, the increasing number of anomalies being found around our sun nearly daily:

    Go directly to NASA's website to replicate the photos:
    Select LASCO C2
    Enter 2015-05-07 in both date range boxes
    Select 'List'
    Select 'Search'
    Scroll down to matching time stamp (0624)