You will have noticed that I have not been writing much recently. I think it worthwhile – both for the sake of those of you who regularly visit as well as for my own – to try to work through the reasons why. Perhaps this exercise will help open the logjam.
To begin, I don’t like that I am not writing much; it is one of the things I enjoy – to learn, explore, and to try to understand / describe / explain / communicate; to receive feedback that helps me improve in all aspects. A close cousin is that I am also not reading much – my usual sites, a stack of books waiting for me, etc.
The most direct reason is that my schedule in the real world has been consumed by both a work project and some personal projects. I am past the workload peak, but I am not sure how soon I will get past the mental peak – where I am therefore able to keep my thoughts focused on writing.
About ten days ago, I felt a sudden mental freedom – I don’t know from where it came. I put out about three pieces in 2-3 days. I really enjoyed that I was able to do that. Then, it went away.
In any case, the workload cannot explain all of it; even when I have had some available time, I have found that I am not able to focus on writing something. I think the events of recent months – the escalation of tensions regarding Ukraine, the incessant propaganda regarding ISIS, the flood of information regarding CIA torture, etc. – have overwhelmed me.
Not overwhelmed in a sense of hopelessness (I can never fall into this); more like a sense of what to make of it – trying to make some sense out of all of it. There are times when – while reading someone’s view of the various events – I feel I capture a brief mental glimpse of some reasonable interpretation, a needle in their haystack that points me to something bigger, something else; but then it disappears, with me left unable to put any of it into words or even remember it. And then I get (mentally) caught up again in these projects….
It isn’t clear to me which logjam needs breaking – the projects or my ability to mentally make some sense out of these recent events. In the meantime, I really miss writing.