WHAT? OK, I have been all for the non-aggression principle and all, but now my principle has met its match. I give up – nuke ‘em all.
Scientists are considering plans to mount a laser cannon on the International Space Station (ISS) for shooting down debris trapped in orbit.
Something isn’t right; I thought ISIS stood for the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria. Oh well, whatever they call themselves, they shouldn’t get a laser cannon. Call out the Marines!
Some researchers are suggesting that the ISS be equipped with a laser powerful enough to shoot down space debris by disrupting the orbits of the pieces and sending them to burn up in the atmosphere.
Sure, those ISIS researchers might pretend that this laser cannon is for space debris, but I know that they are going to use it to bring Sharia law to Kansas.
Researchers estimate that a large-scale, debris blasting satellite could shoot down 100,000 pieces of space junk every year.
Don’t be fooled, Mr. President. They are going to turn this laser cannon on Bible-thumping Americans before going to meet their forty virgins – already being in low-earth orbit, they will get there that much faster.
I say water-board the scientists working on this weapon from the devil. Teach ‘em all about American values.
(OK, seriously. Do you think if such a weapon was invented by NASA scientists that its only use would be to vaporize space debris?)