Posts
Died
yesterday, at 83 years of age. I only
offer some of his best lines from a couple of my favorite movies.
Talk about a movie they would never make today. Gene Wilder played Jim, the “Waco Kid.” Sheriff Bart, referenced below, was played by
Cleavon Little.
Jim, to Bart (the
new black Sheriff in a very white western town): What did you expect?
"Welcome, sonny?" "Make yourself at home?" "Marry my
daughter?" You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers.
These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know...
morons.
Jim: It got so
that every pissant prairie punk who thought he could shoot a gun would ride
into town to try out the Waco Kid. I must've killed more men than Cecil B.
DeMille. Got pretty gritty. Started hearing the word "draw" in my
sleep. Then one day, I was walking down the street when I heard someone shout,
"Reach for it, mister!" I turned around to see who it was, and there
I was, standing face-to-face...with a 6 year-old kid. I just put my guns down
and walked away. Little bastard shot me in the ass!
Bart: Are we
awake?
Jim: We're not
sure. Are we... black?
Bart: Yes we
are.
Jim: Then
we're awake. But we're very puzzled.
Bart: Okay,
Jim, since you are my guest and I am your host, what are your pleasures? What
do you like to do?
Jim: Oh, I
don't know. Play chess...screw.
Bart: Well
let's play chess.
Gene Wilder plays Dr. Frederick Frankenstein, grandson of
the famous one.
Igor: Dr.
Frankenstein...
Dr. Frankenstein:
"Fronkensteen."
Igor: You're
putting me on.
Dr. Frankenstein:
No, it's pronounced "Fronkensteen."
Igor: Do you
also say "Froaderick"?
Dr. Frankenstein:
No... "Frederick."
Igor: Well,
why isn't it "Froaderick Fronkensteen"?
Dr. Frankenstein:
It isn't; it's "Frederick Fronkensteen."
Igor: I see.
Dr. Frankenstein:
You must be Igor.
Igor: No, it's
pronounced "eye-gor."
Dr. Frankenstein:
But they told me it was "ee-gor."
Igor: Well,
they were wrong then, weren't they?
Dr. Frankenstein:
For the experiment to be a success, all of the body parts must be enlarged.
Inga: His
veins, his feet, his hands, his organs vould
all have to be increased in size.
Dr. Frankenstein:
Precisely.
Inga: [her eyes get wide] He vould have an
enormous schwanzschtücker.
Dr. Frankenstein:
[ponders this a moment] That goes
without saying.
Inga: Voof.
Igor: He's
going to be very popular.
Dr. Frankenstein:
Love is the only thing that can save this poor creature, and I am going to
convince him that he is loved even at the cost of my own life. No matter what
you hear in there, no matter how cruelly I beg you, no matter how terribly I
may scream, do not open this door or you will undo everything I have worked
for. Do you understand? Do not open this door!
Inga: Yes,
Doctor.
Igor: [sarcastically] Nice workin' with ya.
[Dr. Frankenstein
enters the Monster's cell, accidentally bumping into a table. The Monster
awakens, roaring with rage. Panicking, Dr. Frankenstein turns back to the door.]
Dr. Frankenstein:
Let me out. Let me out of here. Get me the hell out of here. [Turns to the Monster, then back to the door]
What's the matter with you people? I WAS JOKING! Don't you know a joke when you
hear one? [Sarcastically] HA HA HA! [Begins pounding on the door; outside, Frau
Blūcher stops Inga and Igor from trying to open the cell.] Jesus Christ,
let me out of here! Open this goddamn door or I'll kick your rotten heads in! MOMMY!!!
Frau Blucher:
[blocking the door as Inga and Igor again
try to open the cell] Nein!
[The Monster roars,
shrugging off its chains. Dr. Frankenstein turns back to the Monster, deciding
a different approach...]
Dr. Frankenstein:
Hello, handsome! [The Monster looks
momentarily wrong-footed] You're a good looking fellow, do you know that?
People laugh at you, people hate you, but why do they hate you? Because... they
are JEALOUS! Look at that boyish face. Look at that sweet smile. Do you wanna
talk about physical strength? Do you want to talk about sheer muscle? Do you
want to talk about the Olympian ideal? You are a GOD! And listen to me, you are
not evil. You... are... GOOD! [The
Monster starts to cry, and Dr. Frankenstein hugs him] This is a nice boy.
This is a good boy. This is a mother's angel. And I want the world to know once
and for all, and without any shame, that we love him! I'm going to teach you.
I'm going to show you how to walk, how to speak, how to move, how to think.
Together, you and I are going to make the greatest single contribution to
science since the creation of fire!
Inga: [from outside] Dr. Fronkensteen! Are you
all right?
Dr. Frankenstein:
MY NAME IS FRANKENSTEIN!!!
Thank you, Gene.
Sad to lose a fellow who brought so much laughter to others. I loved him as Willy Wonka as a kid.
ReplyDeleteThe world would be a lot better off if there were more Willy Wonkas, Thornton Melons, and Walt Kowalskis among us.
ReplyDeleteR.I.P. G.W.
ReplyDeleteGreat writer/actor. I also liked him in 'The Producers' and 'The Frisco Kid', among others. But 'Young Frankenstein' will always be my favorite. My two sons and I had just watched 'Y.F.' last Wednesday as part of a double header movie night - a send-off for my oldest who we drove to Berklee in Boston over the weekend. (The other movie was 'Monty Pythons Holy Grail'.)
ReplyDeleteFor me, it's the obvious love that Wilder had for the original that makes this such a classic. It was his project I believe. Maybe my all time greatest comedy. I can still recite pages of dialog from memory. Drives the girlfriend nuts! :)