WHAT? OK, I have been all for the non-aggression
principle and all, but now my principle has met its match. I give up – nuke ‘em all.
Scientists are considering plans to
mount a laser cannon on the International Space Station (ISS) for shooting down
debris trapped in orbit.
Something isn’t right; I thought ISIS stood for the Islamic
State of Iraq and Syria. Oh well, whatever
they call themselves, they shouldn’t get a laser cannon. Call out the Marines!
Some researchers are suggesting
that the ISS be equipped with a laser powerful enough to shoot down space
debris by disrupting the orbits of the pieces and sending them to burn up in
the atmosphere.
Sure, those ISIS researchers might pretend that this laser
cannon is for space debris, but I know that they are going to use it to bring
Sharia law to Kansas.
Researchers estimate that a
large-scale, debris blasting satellite could shoot down 100,000 pieces of space
junk every year.
Don’t be fooled, Mr. President. They are going to turn this laser cannon on Bible-thumping
Americans before going to meet their forty virgins – already being in low-earth
orbit, they will get there that much faster.
I say water-board the scientists working on this weapon from
the devil. Teach ‘em all about American
values.
(OK, seriously. Do
you think if such a weapon was invented by NASA scientists that its only use
would be to vaporize space debris?)
Ho, ho, Big Muchacho, obviously this is a promo for the sequel to the 1987 movie, "Spaceballs". Below is some of the film's first billed cast, to be released as soon as the script meets the approval of the American Institute of Political Avid Correctness, aka: AIPAC.
ReplyDeleteCast Character
Benjamin Netanyahu President Skroob
John McCain Yogurt
John Bolton Barf
Arseniy Yatsenyuk Dark Helmet
Rand Paul Lone Starr
Victoria Nuland Princess Vespa
Lindsey Graham King Roland
Tom Cotton Colonel Sandurz
Barack Obama Radar Technician
Hillary Clinton Voice of Dot Matrix
Abe Foxman Zionater (new character)
The main plot centers around how the evil Spaceballs will implement the dark forces of the OOZ (Order Of Z) led by the Zionater, shvantz master and baiter who schemes to control all commerce throughout the galaxy.
BM,
ReplyDeleteI am very confident that they would only use it on space debris. (The definition of space debris being very elastic.)
Working Chinese satellite = space debris
Working Russian satellite = space debris
etc.
Think of it as POTUS defining who is an enemy combatant. I'm sure POTUS is completely competent at determining and defining space debris and politics would never be a factor!
Who knows what is really going on. Quite probably, there are immeasurable numbers of weapons in the hands of our Secret Space Program operators already and on various planets and moons.
ReplyDeleteFascinating, the increasing number of anomalies being found around our sun nearly daily: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8QOfjtOAxoA
Go directly to NASA's website to replicate the photos:
http://sohodata.nascom.nasa.gov/cgi-bin/data_query
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